[svlug] In regards to e-communications on SVLUG

Alvin Oga alvin at mail.Linux-Consulting.com
Sun Jan 27 20:30:43 PST 2008


hi k

> K Sandoval wrote:
> 
> Do you have an abuse problem?  Go back through your emails and ASK YOURSELF...
> Are those around you identifying your communication style in any one
> of the following ways?

i'd add:

i know more than you do ( or so they think ) ... so i must be right 

if 10 people vote for xxx ... they must be right ...
	( classic buy microsoft problems or outsourcing problems )
	- you cant be the 1 or the few fighting against the rest of them

> Do people say you uses Name Calling?
> Do people say you engage in the game of one upmanship?
> Do you feel "defeated" if people do not agree with you?
> Do you put people with other opinions or views down or belittle them
> just because they do not agree with your point of view?
> Do  you ALWAYS need to "top" the conversation?
> Do  you ALWAYS need to counter with the phrase "but you did..."?
> Do  people say you are "manipulative"?
> Do  people say you are "overly critical"?
> Do  people say you are "intimidating"?
> Do  people say they feel you are "invalidating" their feelings?

...

> A lot of abusive behaviors are ingrained, they may have been part of
> your personality and coping mechanism since childhood,

yup ... and most people would not recognize that they do certain
things or not ... and not many people will want to confront the 
"people" issues face to face .. it so much easier now days to hide
behind emails

> Frequently Verbal and/or Physical Violence is related to alcohol or
> drug abuse.

but now always ... childhood issues has lots to do with it

c ya
alvin





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