[svlug] Please... Master eBay! (right... could be off-topic)

[Ron]

Now and then members on the list recommend eBay for one thing or
another. I thought a few might be interested in a response sent me while
attempting to opt out of their new Privacy policy.

> We're sorry to hear that you do not want to accept the new changes 
> coming to the User Agreement or Privacy policy, and that you want to 
> leave our Community. Before it's final, is there anything we can do to 
> change your mind?  
> 
> Please be aware this is a serious step: not only will you be blocked 
> from eBay, and your contact information concealed, but also your 
> Feedback Profile will no longer be available. Additionally, please 
> remember that once the account is closed the email address will never be
> able to be used to open up a new account on eBay.

Never? Either I accept their proposed changes or for ETERNITY I will be
banned from access? Like, what if the entire water supply of the WORLD
goes BELLY UP with the next super duper BIOLOGICAL NASTIES and the last
supply of bottled spring water is being auctioned on eBay?

Is there anything they can do to change my mind, they ask? Well, why not
send over some thugs in black uniforms with a couple of truncheons and
and a copy of MS Windows to install on my Linux box.

It's a lucky thing for me eBay is such a insignificant upstart and not
an actual player in the internet auction business otherwise not agreeing
to their usurpation of my privacy could have real impact.

So, I thought I might redirect my seething anger at their presumptuous
attempt to abscond with my personal rights in a response directed
straight at their corporate heart, I would probably word it something
like this (what do you think?):

Dear Master eBay,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I take everything back, please, please
be nice to me, don't take away, FOR ETERNITY, the grace of your...

... good start? ;-)

-- 
               \\\///
              / _  _ \
            (| (.)(.) |)
 +--------.OOOo--()--oOOO.----------+
 |                                  |
 | Was that me or the beer talking? |
 |                                  |
 +----------.oooO-------------------+
            (   )   Oooo.
             \ (    (   )
              \_)    ) /
                    (_/