[svlug] Wheel Mouse Optical... Evil?

Dagmar d'Surreal dagmar at dsurreal.org
Sat Jan 5 02:19:01 PST 2002

On Fri, 4 Jan 2002, Michael Eric Battle wrote:

> Look, the Empire has explained at length why *NIX "makes no sense on the
> desktop":
> http://www.microsoft.com/ntserver/nts/news/msnw/LinuxMyths.asp
> HMmmm...  Guess thay've taken that down.  Here's a mirror:
> http://www.biznix.org/whylinux/microsoft1.htm
> Why do you want a mouse for UNIX anyway?
> Everybody knows _UNIX_has_no_GIU_!

I need a mouse for browsing uhmm... the web.  Yeah.  :)

> *NIX on the desktop is so stupid that the Empire has taken up a massive
> crusade against it!  Part of this crusade consists of breaking the *NIX
> interoperability of every single M$ product.  Of sourse this will
> include
> their _mice_!  Bill Gates invented the mouse anyway!!  What makes you
> think
> you're entitled to use Micro$oft inventions or products with UNIX??  If
> you'll read the (imbedded) software license that came with that mouse,
> you're likely to find that it's actually a violation of the EULA and the
> DMCA to use that mouse on other than a Micro$oft(tm) Winbloze(r) system!

I'm fairly astonished that they went to this length personally.  I'm
flatly shocked that things like this didn't make it into the anti-trust

> You yourself know what's wrong here.  You hint at it in your title.
> Have you seen "the Lord of the Rings" yet?  It's kinda like that, a
> desperate war between good and evil.  Good, with nothing to really
> gain, but standing to lose everything, struggles at every encounter
> with evil, which is motivated solely by the gains envisioned via its
> unbridled greed.  Until evil is destroyed, good will forever be
> endangered.
> I think you know what you have to do now.  You must journey to Redmond,
> where you must infiltrate the beast itself so that you may gain access
> to the tallest building on the Micro$oft complex.  You must take your
> M$ Wheel Optical Mouse Evil, and hurl it from the roof of this building
> onto the concrete below, destroying it utterly beyond the ability of the
> Evil Empire to reconstruct the mouse, or your personal data that it has
> gathered while it has been spying on you.  You must kill it.  KILL IT!!!
> Alternatively, if you still have the box, you might be able to get some
> $$$ for it on eBay.

Actually, I'd rather wrap the cord oh-so-snugly around the neck of Bill
Gates for the sake of the entire human race and computer technology as a
whole if I could get a pardon in advance for the crime.

Oh by the way, since this sort of thing is the stuff that restraining
orders are made of, you didn't hear this and I was never here--my computer
has been possessed by the ancestral ghosts of Chinese hackers and good
luck filing a legal writ on them.

> Then go down to Fry's and buy a non-Micro$oft mouse with 3 buttons, like
> everybody knows a good UNIX mouse needs anyway, for one-half or
> one-third
> of what you paid for the M$ evil mouse, or maybe less.  Personally I
> kinda
> like the ones that look like NASCAR race cars.

Actually, I'm considering just going out and buying a Logitech optical
mouse now... but it won't be from Fry's.  I'd like the thing to work.
Until I had these little monsters all sitting side by side I wouldn't have
believed that they'd actually try to make hardware that doesn't conform to
standards properly.

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