[svlug] The end is coming
raffi at kset.com
Wed Dec 31 16:53:31 PST 1997
Why do we celebrate New Year here in the US just one day?
why not celebrate a coming year like others do around the world? They
stay at home :-)
So many suggestions are out there for having this or that (socialized
medicine, global economy, and global warming for example) the same way
others do, so why not have the day off for January 1st and 2nd? Most
Europeans do. We are involved in Balkans ($$$) so it would be natural.
DNC would foot the [bB]ill.
MS gobbled up another company (Hotmail) this last day of anno Domini
1997. US government is next. That will prevent this terrible defamation
campaign against Mr. Bill by DOJ. People will gain many ways. We'll have
a smaller government, centralized in Washington and IRS will be
eliminated. The name of the country will change to MSA [Micro States of
America]. Voluntary taxes will be collected automagicaly through a
browser which will record all our connections. Next step will be a bar
code on foreheads and most will live happily ever after. The rest will
be forced to reeducation calculabor camps to verify Pentium floating
point and Excel macros using slide rulers and abacus. It takes just one
generation to completely eliminate the knowledge about operating systems
like Unix and VMS. All networking protocols will be rewriten and
children will be thought in schools about all the inventions of Master
Most people will work for Master Bill, by this time next year. He was in
Moscow this year getting instructions on how to control the masses from
the Masters in Kremlin. He is now well trained like the top (p)resident
of Pensilvania Avenue in Washington who received his instructions a few
years back. New World Order, oops, New World OS will unite all the
nations and make them equaly poor. Inventions will only be tolerated
under supervision of MSRE (MS Reboot Engineers). The advantage of such
situation is that there are no stale bytes laying around in memory for
weeks (like they do in different flavors of Unix) since the systems
automaticaly reboot few times a day. This is a first step to a total
clone generation. Yes sir.
This is our last chance to reboot the Year with old systems. Load your
computers with Operating Systems of the past for they'll be shut down
for the last time very soon. All people will volunteer to open their
homes to MS trained Reboot Engineers who will check their systems to
make sure everybody complies with MS Government regulations. To speed up
the process all computer owners are asked to buy the latest modems with
appropriate logos so that MSREs can check their shorts remotely.
Who knows, maybe we lost an oportunity for the last logon to Halebopp...
There is hope however. Let us say a prayer to prevent all of us from
going to where the SUN never shines. Being around for millions of years,
Sun is the only source of positive energy. Other stars are dying or dead
Those who worship the Prince of Darkness will gain control for a moment
but will perish like the civilizations of the past. Many wonder what
happened to old civilizations; but it's clear, they worshiped the Prince
of Darkness, they sacrificed their own, throwing them through the same
Window into the black hole, where memory doesn't counts. Prince of
Darkness is hiding behind glasses, he can't face the bright SUN whose
energy is more efficient in delivering bits of knowledge through the
network of the Universe. However, he won't last forever and the Next
generation will be free at last.
See you next year.
Happy New Year.
1998 --> Ein Fuhrer, Ein Reich, Ein Winblows.
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